I sit down to write this blog with a full heart. As I look back on the month I just feel a sense of love and overwhelming peace. I have just this evening come back from Church feeling inspired, feeling more than ever that I wish to give God my all, drop everything at his feet and take on every appointing he wishes to give me.
In my previous blog, I wrote about the destructiveness of business and how it has the potential to destroy the relationship with our creator, this is a long and exhausting journey I have been on. I am for sure not complete in where I need to be but I am ensuring to carve out little portions of my day where I am sitting at the feet of Jesus and my gosh how it has blown my mind. I feel such a sense of peace when he speaks the little whispers over me. On some days, it’s much louder. Recently I have felt his love like never before and I want to pour that love on every one I cross paths with. People I speak to in the gym, my beautiful friends that I dine with. Women on the streets, I’m just overcome and I want more of it.
Jesus calls us to Living Room intimacy, just like Mary in the Bible who decided that chores and busyness could no longer cut it, she yearned to sit at Jesus’ feet and surround herself in his teaching and his love, I am beginning now more than ever to crave that intimacy. My life has represented that of Martha and now my body and soul wish for a piece of Mary.
The month of June saw me saying goodbye to many people, especially to my beautiful friend Lily. God has called her into a new season and when I said goodbye to her my heart was especially heavy, I prayed to God asking him how was I going to cope with his constant steam of goodbyes, this expat life was already beginning to show its true colours to me. Lily was my rock and I am thankful every day that God put this friendship in my life but he is about to do amazing things in this girl’s life and as a friend and a fellow sister in Christ I wish to bless her in this and pray continuously for her. Being a person who loves people I am constantly fighting that battle of how much of my heart to give. A good friend of my mine told me that I must not hold my heart back from anyone. Whether people enter your life for 10 years, a year, a month or even a day we must not hold back from them. They could very well play and important part in our life no matter how brief. So, I will continue to embrace the relationships God blesses me with and accept that the word Goodbye is just going to be a common l word on my list of vocabulary!
The pain of letting people go, the beauty and the confusion of the epic journey that God is taking me on. The difficulty of God’s pruning in our lives, all of this is worth it for the fruit that he bears and victory he declares. I want to share a story from an outreach that happened this week. This Wednesday night we were coming to the end of our outreach session and came across a woman we have been building a relationship with for the past few months. Every encounter I have with this woman makes my heart more and more full. I have come to love her. Her story is one of horror and devastation. She has been trafficked from Uganda and sees no way out. On this night, we spent time in conversation with *Tanya and she began bit by bit to tell a little of her story. She was filled with feelings of shame and feeling nothing short of dirty. I told her that when I look at her I see a woman who is white as snow, she is beautiful and full of joy, if I see her like this just imagine how her father God sees her. He wants to take her In his arms and love her. I did not have the answer as to why she is suffering, I could not change her past or take the pain away but in that moment, I could love her and show her she is worth more than this Earth and there is hope. My friend from my team and I held her hands and prayed over her that she would know how special and beautiful she really is. During this prayer 5 other African women from the street came and joined our circle and wished to join in. In the middle of the Red-light district, 8 women were holding hands and praying to Jesus. It was a moment I will cherish forever.
In this ministry, we do not have all the answers and we cannot turn back time but we can show these women how God sees them and we can try to help them. If I feel this much love for them, it’s only a portion for how their creator sees them. Now more than ever I want to fight this battle alongside God and see freedom. It’s an honour and a privilege to walk alongside such brave and courageous women and to hold them in my arms. Thankyou God.*Name changed in order to protect identity