Whoever said being a Christian was easy? I’m not sure anybody did. For most of my time as a Christian, I have spent a large part of it directing God and telling him where to place my own footsteps. I knew my plan and I needed God to get on board with it. Luckily, it doesn’t quite work like that. Am I in the place I imagined? Absolutely not, I am so so much more. I’m thousands of miles away walking in his will. I’m not a successful personal trainer. I still haven’t passed my driving test. I don’t earn that 30k a year I had hoped for, infact come to think of it, I don’t earn anything. And what hurts the most? I’m not married nor do I have the two beautiful babies I envisioned but guess what, despite all these things I am a daughter of the living Christ and he has sent me to pour out an abundance of love on his many other daughters who are lost and trapped in Slavery.
In coming here, I had to say goodbye to something so utterly precious to me it essentially felt like losing a limb. This is the cost of obedience. It’s messy, it’s painful, it’s complicated and sometimes it breaks your heart in two but I have a perfect father in heaven who is there to heal me and to heal the person I left behind but most of all he will use me. All that pain will eventually go away; he leads me beside still waters so that I can give it all to the being who cares most for me.
Last Friday I went on bar outreach to the Thai women being sold in the red-light area. I spent so
me time getting to know this most beautiful woman. She was so precious and she is worth all the pain that I may have to endure just to get a chance to speak to her. The pain this young girl suffers night after night is worse than any deep waters I have to pass through and let me tell you something, she is so worth it . I left the bar on that night with my heart bursting with joy and love. I’d known her for a matter of about an hour and I loved her, just imagine how Jesus feels about her. From that moment on I knew my life was dedicated to this ministry wherever that may be in the world.
All the stress of learning a new language, settling in to a new culture and the trauma of goodbyes suddenly becomes worth it when you experience that love.
It’s been a tough week to say the least. I haven’t felt joyful and to be honest I’ve felt quite flat at times but God tells us that no matter our circumstances we must find joy. We must keep our heads above water but he catches us when we fall, in moments of despair he picks us up into his loving arms he carries us through the pain and never leaves us to endure it on our own. If that’s not enough, in times of needs he sends us people to rescue our hearts when we need it most. The Lord sent me Lily, a beautiful and vivacious woman who shines with the love of Jesus. Her passion to set women free inspires me and despite only knowing me for 2 months, has guided me through the worst and held my hand through the tears. Friendships like this are priceless and I thank God for her every day.
This week is a new week with the chance for breakthrough. I will continue with my outreach and will work the hardest to crack this language even if it kills me! Alongside that I will celebrate my 26th Birthday with some very special people as well as smashing my way through some heavy barbells, I like to call it therapy .
I end by saying that my love is for free, I give it away as a gift to the people God sends my way, it has no price tag. I give it to the women I meet in my ministry, I give it to the new friendships and the old, I give it to the men who are desperate for love even if it costs them, I give it to my beautiful family and I give it to the person I left behind who supported me and encouraged me every step of the way despite how much it broke his heart.
I ask you continue to pray for these women I meet that one day every single person will be set free from slavery.